THE BLOODLESS EP TOUR: Part Four

So Birmingham started in Chile with the gripping tale of the Chilean miners excavation.
Sure:::


At the end of that rousing (day long) tale and after we'd managed to pull Smit back from the edge of his seat we trundled down the road to the pretty fancy Hare and Hounds pub where we lay our scene.

After some over zealous gear shifting, Helen was finding it hard to sit down properly:::


We had a slap-up crisp dinner:::


And found our Norwich friend Mat Riviere lurking behind some small dogs:::


During soundcheck Ellie found a cable that wasn't coiled right. She had a heart attack:::

And died:::


We immediately replaced her with Fearne Cotton:::

She soon became annoying so Rosie called her friends on the Olympic Committee y'all:::

The prescribed a rousing rendition of 'Hero' by the late, great Heather Small:::



Ellie searched for the hero inside herself and pulled through. Thank God.
Her recovery was aided by the presence of Lucy Brown, Robert Brown and Graham Reynolds:::

As part of the deal with mother nature (Oprah) Rosie had to lend her face to a pauper in order to to cement Ellie's return to life. We lost it for a while:::

Later on we put Manager Arthur to bed with a saucer of milk:::

And set about transcending the space/time continuum:::

Next stop: London. Messy essy times.

Morning Hair:::


Shower Hair:::

THE BLOODLESS EP TOUR: Part Three

Tuesday: Day three. Super fun. Super messy. We woke up in our manager Arthur's Dr Who infested flat feeling sprightly, especially after Nurse Jones dolled out our meds in her turbi-towel:::


Much like an infestation of Silverfish, Arthur's place is crawling with Dr Who memorabilia:::

If you go within 50cm of the glass cabinet, an alarm goes off and Arthur throws miniature daleks at your head. Ellie found a poseable model of Tom Baker in her bra once.

Smit is so malnourished from being on tour that his legs have shrunk. This just happened:::



We thought it best that we feed him so we skipped off into Mosely to have a delicious Irish breakfast:::


After we ate we had an emergency so we rushed to the rug doctor for immediate treatment:::


The rug doctor prescribed us some 'erbs and spices so we popped to the Chemists where a tiny lady served us. She served us this:::



Our voices are pretty much destroyed from the banshee like screaming so we had to visit the voice wizard who gave us this:::


It tastes really good:::



When we got to Middlesbrough, we were greeted by a disco floor, Rosie's always wanted to have sex on one of these so she prepared herself:::

After soundcheck we fancied a nibble but Middlesbrough eateries seem to open between 9 and 9.05am. Eventully we found this marvellous specimen and enjoyed some tremendous chips:::


The gig was an interesting time, we found out shots were a pound:::


So we got fucked up:::







Ryan did this:::

Then had "wrong sex" with Ellie:::


Jerusalem..the bells are RING-A-DING-DINGING:::

'MORNING HAIR: IN PICTURES' part three:::



SHOWER HAIR: IN PICTURES:::

The screams of the bouncers are still ringing in our ears. Day 4 = Birmingham fun times. This night has ruined us.

THE BLOODLESS EP TOUR: Part Two

Yesterday was day two people. We woke up in Cardiff, well we woke up. Arthur didn't need to as he hadn't slept because he had a pussy on his face... our host Liz's cat, Bernard. Arthur loves sleeping on sofas.

On the drive from Cardiff we cradled Smit like a baby:::


Ryan slept like a rag doll:::


And we all missed our loved ones:::



Day two gig was at the Sugarmill in Stoke-On-Trent. It must be a fancy venue because look what we found outside. MIKE MIKE MIIIIIIIIIKE:::


Inside we had an actual dressing room. It was great (and a bit of a relief if i'm honest) that we had somewhere to put all of our dresses. We sat in it and looked at our free beer like this:::


This Stoke gig was the official release date of 'The Bloodless EP'. Look at this wrist band. There is honestly no better way to mark a release date than with a white paper wrist band:::


It put us all in a very good mood:::



This is Helen our driver/insanely helpful tour manager type lady. Look at her in her shop. "I WAS BORN FOR RETAIL":::


AND as surprise, our personal confidants Lucy Brown and Sinead Duffy were IN THE HOUSE. We love these ladies more than your mum. Hold me closer tiny dancer:::


For dinner we had some REALLY bad pizza. It tasted like dirty pants. This was not worth £6.50. And it made me cross. Food in Stoke is overrated anyway. If I lived here I WOULD NOT EAT:::


And THIS JUST HAPPENED. Me and Rosie were horsing:::




When we got back to Birmingham smit had to apply is 'DOG OIL'. This is his showbiz medicine that driver Helen got for him to help with his tennis elbow. Smit loves tennis:::


We also watched some footage of ourselves in HD on Arthurs big projector:::


But we all got in our sleeping bags first so we could all safely have a wank:::


'MORNING HAIR: IN PICTURES' part two:::


Following on from the roaring success of MORNING HAIR: IN PICTURES, we have decided to start a new segment... 'SHOWER HAIR: IN PICTURES' feast your eyes on this hound dogs:::



So, onwards and upwards. We are heading to the beautiful town of Middlesbrough. We are playing at The Keys. BRING. IT. ON. SISTERS.