THE BLOODLESS EP TOUR: Part Five

Thursday brought us to the big smoke. But first we enjoyed a power nap:::

Suddenly Smit had to take an urgent call:::

It was OK though, it was just Willy Wonka calling to warn him about the pubes in his sweets:::

Finally we arrived, full of beans, at XFM in time to do our live session:::

In our family portrait we look pretty happy

Lets play pretend, let's act like it comes naturally

I don't wanna have to split the holidays

I don't want two addresses

I don't want a step brother anyways

And I don't want my mom to have to change her last name:::

Smit ran away pretty soon after that photo was taken. We looked for him everywhere and eventually found him hiding in this tiny box:::

Rosie's mouth got cold because she left it open too long. It had to quickly put its coat on:::

When our beady eyes clocked this gem, we CRIED*:::

We all reached the speedy conclusion that we had embarrassed ourselves long enough and busted a groove. When we got back in the van to drive to Brixton Helen seemed different somehow, distracted:::

Smit thought he smelled something fishy:::

But Helen insisted she was alright so we trundled on to the Windmill. This is one of our most favourite places in the world. We played with the wonderful Local Girls:::

And the gorgeous Something Beginning With L:::

The gig was as hotter than the hottest quiche you have tasted and after we had had our fill of Lorraine we went back to lovely Jen and Johns hoose from SBL. Whilst we were there we all had to squeeze on one sofa. Thats just the way it is:::

(Ellie had been slipped some moonshine)

Marble Arch. That's right mother:::

For much of the evening, Rosie and JenFuse looked smug in the kitchen. When Jen drinks wine she HAS to stand at a right angle. Thats just the way it is:::

We discussed the importance of being earnest:::

and Ellie and Smit got married:::

But then quickly divorced after Smit witnessed this display:::

I feel there's not really anything left to say anymore other than SHOW US YOUR SWANS:::

Morning Hair:::

Shower Hair:::

None of us washed on this day.

*IN OUR PANTS.

THE BLOODLESS EP TOUR: Part Four

So Birmingham started in Chile with the gripping tale of the Chilean miners excavation.
Sure:::


At the end of that rousing (day long) tale and after we'd managed to pull Smit back from the edge of his seat we trundled down the road to the pretty fancy Hare and Hounds pub where we lay our scene.

After some over zealous gear shifting, Helen was finding it hard to sit down properly:::


We had a slap-up crisp dinner:::


And found our Norwich friend Mat Riviere lurking behind some small dogs:::


During soundcheck Ellie found a cable that wasn't coiled right. She had a heart attack:::

And died:::


We immediately replaced her with Fearne Cotton:::

She soon became annoying so Rosie called her friends on the Olympic Committee y'all:::

The prescribed a rousing rendition of 'Hero' by the late, great Heather Small:::



Ellie searched for the hero inside herself and pulled through. Thank God.
Her recovery was aided by the presence of Lucy Brown, Robert Brown and Graham Reynolds:::

As part of the deal with mother nature (Oprah) Rosie had to lend her face to a pauper in order to to cement Ellie's return to life. We lost it for a while:::

Later on we put Manager Arthur to bed with a saucer of milk:::

And set about transcending the space/time continuum:::

Next stop: London. Messy essy times.

Morning Hair:::


Shower Hair:::

THE BLOODLESS EP TOUR: Part Three

Tuesday: Day three. Super fun. Super messy. We woke up in our manager Arthur's Dr Who infested flat feeling sprightly, especially after Nurse Jones dolled out our meds in her turbi-towel:::


Much like an infestation of Silverfish, Arthur's place is crawling with Dr Who memorabilia:::

If you go within 50cm of the glass cabinet, an alarm goes off and Arthur throws miniature daleks at your head. Ellie found a poseable model of Tom Baker in her bra once.

Smit is so malnourished from being on tour that his legs have shrunk. This just happened:::



We thought it best that we feed him so we skipped off into Mosely to have a delicious Irish breakfast:::


After we ate we had an emergency so we rushed to the rug doctor for immediate treatment:::


The rug doctor prescribed us some 'erbs and spices so we popped to the Chemists where a tiny lady served us. She served us this:::



Our voices are pretty much destroyed from the banshee like screaming so we had to visit the voice wizard who gave us this:::


It tastes really good:::



When we got to Middlesbrough, we were greeted by a disco floor, Rosie's always wanted to have sex on one of these so she prepared herself:::

After soundcheck we fancied a nibble but Middlesbrough eateries seem to open between 9 and 9.05am. Eventully we found this marvellous specimen and enjoyed some tremendous chips:::


The gig was an interesting time, we found out shots were a pound:::


So we got fucked up:::







Ryan did this:::

Then had "wrong sex" with Ellie:::


Jerusalem..the bells are RING-A-DING-DINGING:::

'MORNING HAIR: IN PICTURES' part three:::



SHOWER HAIR: IN PICTURES:::

The screams of the bouncers are still ringing in our ears. Day 4 = Birmingham fun times. This night has ruined us.